This past Saturday, my younger son’s little league team went into their second to last game of the season with an undefeated streak of 13-0. A lot of pressure for a team of nine and ten-year-olds, if you ask me. Well, Saturday, their undefeated streak ended. I never saw so many looks of defeat on the faces of children – tears were shed by the majority of the team, at some point in the game. As the game continued, I heard many comments by the parents and families of our team about how “two of their best players weren’t there”. A set of brothers who left for vacation. Two of our better players – yes, true. Best? I suppose that is slightly opinion based. Either way, two kids do not carry an entire team. The team – Carries the entire team. If I heard this over and over – I’m sure the remaining team did, as well. I’m sure that this practice of labeling contributed to their feelings of unworthiness right out of the gate. I also heard comments about how “they just weren’t playing their best today”, “making a lot of mistakes”, “just isn’t their day” – heads were shaking in disappointment and frustration – etc, etc, etc. I observed and listened. Don’t get me wrong – I was cheering them on – hoping they would make the next out, hit the ball to outfield, and come back to win – just as we all were. An undefeated season would have been great – impressive and all. However, as they were losing and the point spread was increasing – not in their favor – I realized that this is not a bad thing. It is a tremendous lesson. A lesson in humility.

As with most aspects of life, showing up doesn’t guarantee you success. I’ve never known any great lessons to surface when everything is going our way – there are absolutely no profound lessons wrapped up in these moments. Our greatest lessons are gained through mistakes and an element of failure. Sometimes, even with our most genuine and courageous efforts, we come in second place. Or, we don’t place at all. Sometimes we just simply fail at what we set out to do. As the game continued, the feeling of defeat was overwhelming these young kids. They were crying. Hanging their heads. Walking the walk of shame. It was heartbreaking to watch, actually. It is, however, an excellent learning opportunity for the entire team. Failure doesn’t define you. A couple of mistakes do not define you. The fact that they lost one game doesn’t define them as the losing team – in fact, even with this loss, they are the number one team in the league. It simply defines them as a team of nine and ten-year-young kids that aren’t perfect. I have yet to meet a perfect person. So, why would we place that expectation on a team of young children? Furthermore, why would we want them to place that expectation on themselves? It simply isn’t realistic. And we all know it. We’ve all been there. Done that. I was sure to express my feelings prior to the end of the game. Humility – Is a never a bad thing. Being over-confident and cocky, however – is definitely not a becoming quality. Confidence is excellent. Everyone should radiate confidence. Radiating a superior attitude, however – Not so much.

After the game, my son said to me, “Mommy, I’m so sad. I really wanted to win, but we didn’t. We got beat by ten runs …”

After I ensured him that he played well and that I was proud of him, because he did, and I was – I explained to him that those 13 teams that they had previously beat – most by over 10 runs – also wanted to win. They left each game feeling the same exact way. Now that he and his team have felt the defeated feelings of losing, by ten runs, perhaps it will teach them compassion for other teams that leave feeling the same way. One team always wins and one team always loses – it’s the way it is. It just hasn’t been their way, up until this point. I explained to him that losing wasn’t a bad thing – it simply makes his team human – a team of kids that simply got out-played. And – most importantly, it offers them a lesson in being humble. In compassion. It will serve as an exercise of strength as now his team will need to pull themselves together, hold their heads back up and rise after their fall – together – as a team.

Luckily for this team of very ambitious, hard-working and incredibly passionate kids – Their coaches also acknowledged the many lessons that came with this loss. My gratitude and respect runs deep for the humble men that lead this team.

Saturday was a great lesson for these young boys (and one girl), as it was for everyone. Success doesn’t find you simply because you arrive. Even given our best efforts and all of our passion – often times, failure still comes knocking on our door. Sometimes we fail. Sometimes we fall hard. But, does this define us?? Does this one failure alone – actually define us in our entirety? Absolutely not. It tests us. It challenges us. It makes us rally. It makes us dig deep within ourselves to get up and overcome adversity. And mostly, it is one of the greatest lessons in Humility. Never, ever a negative thing to walk forward after a humbling experience. Failure doesn’t define us – how we choose to rise above it – Does.

This has been an experience that I am grateful that my son has been offered. Also serving as a gentle reminder to everyone – the little league game that offered us all a lesson in humility.