Love left me broken. Again.

I was betrayed. I was heartbroken.

It happened again.

Everything was falling down around me.

The aching in my heart was absolutely unbearable.

I was angry. Incredibly angry.

The light in my eyes went out – Long ago.

I felt worthless. I felt unattractive. I felt like a fool.

So many empty promises filled the air that was swirling around me.

The ocean tide wouldn’t stop knocking me around.

I was barely breathing. I couldn’t quite come up for air.

On one side, my hero, the man that I loved so deeply was dying. I just didn’t know how to catch my breath.

On the other side, my husband, was distant and our vows were as broken as my spirit.

And then, there was my dream. My business. It was fragile and it was crumbling.

Everywhere I looked, failure was swallowing me alive. Heartache was consuming each and every breath. I was alone. Scared. And, desperate for a miracle. A new lesson in love.

After my Grandfather passed away – My time, outside of work, was devoted to my Grandmother. My Mammy. My boys and I spent each weekend with her. And we even extended our “weekends” out through Mondays, even Tuesday mornings, if we could – It was too difficult to leave her alone. I wasn’t sure how she would settle into her grief. She just lost the love of her life.

My older son would periodically stay with her, just the two of them – And all of the sudden, I was receiving pictures of dogs that were in need of adoption. Oh boy – Mammy and my son joined forces to guilt me into getting a D-O-G!!! NOOOOOOOWAY!!! How would I take care of another living, breathing soul?!?! I was barely keeping my S@%T together as it was! Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous!

Until ….

Good ol’ Facebook. Yes, in the precise moment Mammy was insisting that my boys needed a dog. That I needed a dog. That a dog would offer us companionship that was invaluable – She was so incredibly persistent. I didn’t want a dog. I didn’t want a dog in my house. I had no time to train a dog. No time to clean up after a dog. I didn’t even have any love or energy in my heart to offer a dog. This was a horrible idea. The conversation was off-limits. My son was getting his hopes up – Yes, they continued to look. They were in Cahoots! They were fiercely in Cahoots! Oh boy. I never said No to her. For how long could I possibly dance around the fact that this was just not going to happen? I tried. And tried. And here we come, back to Facebook – I see a photo of a dog that was in need of adoption. A pit bull. A red-nosed pit bull. What?? No way! But, then – I went back to that dog. Back to the picture. And, in that moment – Something came over me. The eyes filled with so much soul – Spoke to my heart.

I contacted the girl (who happens to be one of our massage therapists and a friend of mine) that posted the picture of this precious, sweet soul. As my luck would have it, that dog was already adopted by the time I talked myself into inquiring. However, she notified me that there were two other dogs at the shelter that fit the same description and demeanor of the dog that began to open up my heart, once again.

Mammy, my boys and I made plans to visit the two dogs that weekend at the shelter. As soon as we got out of the car, I knew our life was about to change. I felt this overwhelming feeling of love. And how wonderful that we could rescue one of these precious, gentle souls. We met with both dogs briefly that day. I knew our path was being paved in the right direction. Mammy – of course, she agreed. She gave me a look of satisfaction as we got back into the car.

The next day, my little Sister (an avid animal lover), my boys and I returned to the shelter. When we pulled up, one of the dogs from the previous day ran up to my vehicle. He sat at the back, looking up at us – As if to ask, “When can we go home?” I don’t even know how it was possible that he knew it was us. But, he did. He knew where he belonged. And, so did I. We met with both dogs, played with them in the outdoor area and I wish we could’ve taken both of them. We did, however, have to make a decision. There was a younger female and a slightly older male. The female had been at the shelter a short period of time. While the male had spent the last two years in the shelter.

We chose the male dog. Not only was his adoption incredibly overdue – But, there was something so powerful about him that captured my heart. He was gentle with my boys. And – he radiated gratitude and love.

We were able to bring him home that next week. He has completely changed our lives by being part of our family.

Mammy loved him. He even assisted my older son and I on our weekend trips to her house, to care for her, after she had been diagnosed with cancer. He loved her. And, he knew. Just as she knew, that I was about to lose my very best friend. He knew, just as she knew, that the boys and I were going to need some very big shoes filled. Perhaps that is why she kept telling us, “You need to find a big-footed dog!”? I’m not sure, but I am positive that I was offered my new best friend, for a very specific reason.

He is the most unexpected place I would’ve ever thought of finding love.

He offers a love that is gentle and kind.

He never judges me.

He is forgiving – Almost to a fault.

His eyes are honest and genuine.

He is always overwhelmed with joy – each and every time I walk within his sight.

He knows when my heart is broken.

He even attempts to heal it.

He has taught me patience.

He has taught me lessons beyond my imagination.

He is loyal.

His eyes are full of soul, love and gratitude.

It is the kind of love that encourages me to be a better person.

The kind of love that begins to heal our hearts – And whispers that it’s okay to love again.

I know that he has a story.

Just as he knows I have mine.

So often, I watch him and as I read his “Live, Love, Rescue” collar – I am humbled by his loving nature. My gratitude for his love is endless.

I watch him in awe and wonder – How can our two souls be so connected? How is it that our love is so unconditional and genuine?

He knows that we rescued him.

And – I know, that by society’s standards – We rescued him.

However, the truth is – He rescued me. He rescued us.

It has been here, in this unexpected place, that I have found purpose and a renewed faith in love.